Some bad news...

[TripperFx3]

No I didn't wreck my Evo, but instead my girlfriend of almost 5 years left me for another guy last night. She said she didn't leave me for him, but that she has been unhappy for a while, but I'm sure he said the right things to speed things up. The guy was supposed to be a friend of mine and I've only known him 3 weeks (so has she), so I highly doubt this "relationship" will last.

I'm actually doing pretty good and haven't really cried except for the initial shock. I just have to keep busy with my school and get things done. I would also appreciate it if no one said anything bad about her. I know it may upset some of you guys that know me pretty well as most of my friends that I've told seem more upset than me right now lol, but it won't get anything accomplished.

Also regardless of what happens I don't think I could take her back after this one, even though I do still love her. Anyways... I'm done with my rant. Helpful comments/condolences welcomed. lol

[Evolvedgti]

Tripp, I won't say anything but Stay strong!

okay, and..... its best it happened now before you got even more serious, rings. etc!

[TripperFx3]

I know. I'm sorta glad it happened when it did, just wish it didn't happen in that way.

The messed up thing is, is we've been having some minor troubles and I tried to talk to her about them, but everytime I did she would just say it was my fault, etc. When she came home Monday I finally sat down and told her what was bothering me and that was it. I felt like I fell in love with her again. I never told her that and I probably should have, but I suspect she started "seeing" him on Monday.

[robb86]

Wow, sorry to hear about that.

Keep your head up.
Keeping busy always makes it easier to get over relationship habits.

[TripperFx3]

I know. I have finals coming up, so I'm pretty busy. I just wish I was back there in GA with everyone as it would make it much easier. Regardless thanks for the kind words Gents.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

I dont know what to say Tripp. Im sorry you have to go through this. You've got my number, let me know if there is anything I can do to help, or if you just want to talk. You deserve better treatment than that.

[Its Evo8]

ay man, same shit happen to me when i was wit my Ex.. but you know what, it was for the better.. it been 2 year, but now im about to get marry and opened my own business with my new girl,,,. she snooze, she loose

[TouringBubble]

It happens man, and it's never easy. My fiance left me soon after she went off to college. I found out that she'd bee seeing some other guys and couldn't deal with the distance. Then , she missed me and did the whole "I want you back" thing and completely pissed off the girl I'd just started seeing. I was stupid and took her back ... twice.

You'll get over her man. It will take time, but it will happen. You'll meet someone else and they will make you happy and not hurt you. For me, it was the girl that I'd just started seeing when the Ex came crawling back. I'm married to her now and we're happy. The same will happen for you.

[ultm8mind]

First sorry it happened. Second try to move on. I know how you feel, I am sure we've all been there, been in love and been hurt. Mostly relationships become something of a habit and it sucks to break a habit after the time you've been dealing with it. In your instance 5 years. It hurts but in time you will change your ways and maybe not forget but it'll get easier, but you know all this. Keep your head up, go get some random chick, and do your thing, just kidding, but really stay positive and try to move on......

[Chemwarrior]

As a man who has been married for 16 years I'm not going to try and give you relationship advice (even though we all know that I'm the relationship expert, LOL). I will just leave it at "things happen for a reason". Sometimes you can't understand that reason at first but eventually it will become clear. Stay strong and as the Army phrase goes, "keep leaning forward in the foxhole".

If you want some more relationship advice just let me know.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks for the advice guys. I've talked to her mom again and her Mom asked her specifically are you seriously involved with this guy, in which Sam replied, "No hes just helping me out." Her mom also seems pretty optimistic and that this is just a mis-communication kind of thing. I really don't know who to believe anymore. I really just need to hear the answer straight from her and she'll be coming over tonight to pick up her dog and we're going to get some apartment stuff straightened up. I'm going to try to talk to her about everything, but I obviously can't force her. Once I know the answers to some questions I'll be much better. I really want to be back with her and if she's not with this guy and hasn't slept with him then it's a possibility, but it's going to be tough trial on both of us if it goes that way.

I'm not that optimistic though and have pretty much accepted this as the end.

Chem I believe strongly in the same saying though. I grew up with a very strong southern baptist family and thats always stuck with me through thick and thin. I was also talking to a friend whose mom is actually a minister and the mom said something to her that I thought was really cool and that was "tell God your plans and he'll laugh back."

[jktripp]

holy crap man, this was me back in dec last year. the same shit. except my brother set up my gf with one of his friends. yeah, family get togethers get tense now... took her back three times then i said that's it. words usually can't help with what you are feeling, but just remember you aren't alone and i'm sure if you need to talk, anybody/everybody on here is here for you. stay focused on school and stay strong.

[bomjoon]

should have treated her more better....


lol i dunno everyone was all like shit happens and it will get better... i had to say something different... hehe

anywho it will get better. people forget. its one of those things you look back oneday and say "hmm... i had fun back then." and move on.

its not like you were engaged or anything. (far as i know)

there must be a reason why she left you.
you said she wasnt happy for a while ?? could that be your fault?

but then again some people are never happy.

the question is are YOU happy with it.?

if not try to get her back.

if you are... well then its all good.

[TripperFx3]

To be honest I'm sure it was something I did. I've changed a lot for her, but when things got bad between us and she wanted me to change some more I felt like I had done enough. She's mad at me because she said all I do is sit on the couch, watch TV and play videogames and she wants to go out and do stuff. Which we actually do go out a lot, but it's not like I'm the guy that likes going to the club every weekend like she wants to do. After we talked on Monday morning I felt like the relationship had been renewed and was ready to make those changes, but obviously I won't have the chance to.

Also, it's like I said. I do want her back, but if she has already messed around with this other guy theres no way I can do it.

[bomjoon]

. She's mad at me because she said all I do is sit on the couch, watch TV and play videogames and she wants to go out and do stuff. .

thats what i do best too.

they all say that.

i look at relationships like atug of war.

if you like her more you have to change more.

if she like you more then she will change her ways around you.

you have to find the balance to keep both of yous happy.

i know how you feel about her messin around wit the other guy... and i wont say anything about that .. its getting too personal :P

[TripperFx3]

thats what i do best too.

they all say that.

i look at relationships like atug of war.

if you like her more you have to change more.

if she like you more then she will change her ways around you.

you have to find the balance to keep both of yous happy.

i know how you feel about her messin around wit the other guy... and i wont say anything about that .. its getting too personal :P

lol I agree with you joey. She actually seems to be more in love with me. Yet again after all that we talked about I felt like I was actually able to reciprocate.

[Hikaru]

#1 Getting dumped really sucks man. Everyone has been there and we all empathize with you.

#2 Keep your head up and try to stay busy. It's the only way to get over her.

#3 STOP TALKING TO HER MOM! OR HER BROTHER, OR AUNT, OR ANYONE IN HER FAMILY!! It will only give you false hope and nothing they say matters. It's all about what she says!

#4 If you love something enough then set it free. If it comes back then it was meant to be. Sounds corny but is true.

#5 I think it's time to move on.

[bomjoon]

few things are wrong here...

#1. i have never been dumped.
#3. does she have a sister? if you want revenge... you know what todo...
#4. yeah its corny and ... once they leave for good they dont comeback. if they do you dont want them.

[TripperFx3]

lol She does have a sister, but her sister is no looker...

[jktripp]

that may be even better!

[The_Red_Viii]

u still have ur EVO so make love to it like i make love to mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) put ur ur sausage link in the exhaust and bust your man gravy on the wing ok that was gross feel better man... also i hear u are good at detailing let me know when u are in town agian =p

[ultm8mind]

I am definitely with these guys STOP TALKING TO HER FAMILY and/or HER FRIENDS, mainly because who gives a shit what they think. You think she is going to tell her mom "yeah I knew this guy for 3 weeks and gave it up to him?" I doubt it. Her friends would just make her look like she's doing or done nothing wrong, I know mine would, lol. On one hand I know you love her, but if you won't take her back after this, how much do you really love her? If she left, chalk it up as a loss, there are WAY too many women out there to sniffle over one.

[TripperFx3]

I totally agree and actually her friends/mom are on my side. Her mom actually yelled at her when she talked to her. The thing is she really only has one close friend in GA who was actually friends with me 1st, so all her friends, at least in GA and the ones she's closest to, is my friend as well.

Lastly I would take her back. My only concern is if she sleeps with the guy, which i actually talked to her over the phone and she told me honestly they aren't dating, but are "talking," and she hasn't slept with the guy because it's that time of the month anyways and the reason for me wanting to know this is because I was going to get tested if she had, so back on topic. Basically I don't want his sloppy seconds even though hes getting mine. She'd be tainted to me I guess. This probably stems from the fact that I've only slept with 2 women and they were both virgins.

[ultm8mind]

About the tested thing, I dunno about that. I am in the Army, I get physicals every year and when I was out there "playing the field," I got tested every couple months or if I thought someone was suspect, LOL. I have been with more than two women though, a few were virgins and it's better if they're not, LOL, but that's just my 2 cents. If you guys do decide to split I wouldn't worry so much about virginity, that is overrated and they tend to take longer to have sex anyways. If I were you, you guys split find some female, not saying a hoe, but go out and play the field. That is if it is time to move on. If you guys get back together, good for you, if not it was for the best and that is the way you have to try to think about it. It'll be hard at first but it will get easier when you start getting your own new habits and into a daily routine without her. You'll be alright either way, you're still young......

[ultm8mind]

.....and oh yeah stop talking to her family, afterall that is her family. They will choose her over you without a doubt, no matter how they play it. Your friends are your friends, so if you share them so be it. Hopefully they won't choose sides and if they do hopefully it's towards your side........

[TripperFx3]

I know. I've since stopped talking to her family. The only reason I did call her mom was because her and I were actually pretty close.

As for the whole me being with only virgins thing thats just the hand i've been dealt so far. It's not like I'm seeking them out lol. Who knows though. I may just find a rebound girl and my mind will change on the whole situation.

Lastly we did talk some more last night when she came to get her dog. She's still obviously working through some anger issues, but she's calmed down quite a bit already.

[Evolvedgti]

You know , that is the spirit Tripp. Do as Chem said in your sig. Go to a club and go "taste the rainbow" :D

[mouse]

Sorry to hear man. Hey, on the bright side, more money to spend on the car! LOL!

[Hikaru]

Dude, I literally went through this exact senario when I was 19 (many moons ago) so from experience: DROP THIS GIRL! There will be plenty others! Why would you want to be with someone that does not want to be with you? It's all or nuthin man. If she even remotely shows intrest in some one else (ie. just talking), drop her! Even if this is all some sick plot to make you jealous F messing with a girl that wants to play head games! I really feel for ya bro. Life blows sometimes....

[em1toevo]

I have been through a similar situation Tripp. I dumped a girl after I found out she was cheating on me. Afterwards, I wondered if I made the right decision. Everyone's different though. Sam really seemed like she was the one IMHO. Take your time and don't make any rash decisions. Best of luck bro!

[bomjoon]

i dont think he wants to clean out your an gravy out of the exhaust...

you do know that a clogged exhaust will cause your car to run horriblely
and smell like burnt fried eggs.

u still have ur EVO so make love to it like i make love to mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) put ur ur sausage link in the exhaust and bust your man gravy on the wing ok that was gross feel better man... also i hear u are good at detailing let me know when u are in town agian =p

[bomjoon]

evoatl. where we tell you what to do in a relationship.

listen to us or suffer.



lol
new motto?

[em1toevo]

^ Lol, take it from us-we drive Evos.

[scoobysam]

keep your head up tripp. I've gone through something similar. Trust me, time heals everything.

[TripperFx3]

I agree completely with you Sam. I know it will. Today was actually a pretty rough day though. I just really wanted to see her and may actually be meeting up with her. I know it's not the smartest and I'm not expecting for her to meet up, but you never know.

On another note I still have naked pictures of her, so keep your eyes on the NWS forum for those :D lol jk about posting them, but I do still have them ;)

[em1toevo]

^ Lol, I smell revenge...

[scoobysam]

Like everyone else said, try to keep yourself busy. Keep up with school and hang out with friends. Do not talk to her or see her. It just gives false hope. You need to block any contact with her for at least a couple months. In no time, you'll be back to normal and probably find someone else. I know it sucks, but i hope you feel better man. :)

[Strokedt67]

Have one more roll in the hay and give her a dirty sanchez.

[TripperFx3]

Have one more roll in the hay and give her a dirty sanchez.

I was actually sorta hoping for this! PIITB FTW!!!

Sam, I was actually thinking that earlier today and I agree I should probably break contact with her completely for a while, but it's honestly sorta hard because shes still paying her half of the rent, so she can keep her stuff her and leave her dog here when she goes to work. So she's here just about every morning and night for a bit. It's good though cause like I mentioned she has a lot of anger to let out and her seeing me every morning and night lets her work that out little by little. Also, I'm the kinda guy that needs closure (yea I'm a puss... lol) and still need to have a pretty serious discussion with her that she agreed we need to have as well, so we can both be happy, have some closure and either move or get back together (not hoping on this one). I am one of those people that lives by the saying "Hope for the best, expect the worst."

[GoBoost]

Dude, i really dont think it's a good idea to see her every morning/night like you do. It might seem fine for now, but if she does start dating this dude so soon, it will become really really hard for you. In my past experiences, COMPLETELY breaking contact was the best thing. Eventually you dont think about her as much, then at all. And, with my experience, the girl has always come sniveling back after a few months. Then you get to decide if she's really who you want, or if you want to Pwn her emotions ;D

[ultm8mind]

I think you should not be there whenever she comes over. Tell her to just leave the rent on the table or something. Act dis-interested. Ignore her, stop sweating her and she'll come after you, LOL. Play hard to get, and she'll be putty in your hands......either way looks like it's time to move on, break that tie and move sommewhere and let her endure nonsense to look for somewhere to put her dog, lol. Make it rough on her, you didn't leave, she did!!!

[scoobysam]

You have to break contact with her. It is a must. You need to somehow work out the rent/dog thing so you wont have to see her. You'll eventually stop thinking about her as the days go by. It seems like the more you seem uninterested in her the more they want to come back. Hang in there!

[TripperFx3]

I understand what you guys are saying and regardless I already know she'll come back because all this "relationship" with the other guy is is one of convenience. He offered her an easy way out of a situation she thought she wasn't happy with and it was something different for her, so she took it. When she came over this morning I was actually still asleep and woke up and she was actually acting like nothing ever happened which was sorta weird even to me.

As far as not seeing her and avoiding her I'm actually doing better day to day. And even less and less contact is being made. I just need to have that talk with her like I mentioned and I'll be able to completely leave her alone. I think the behavior she showed that I mentioned above is due to me moving on a bit and she's obviously wanting me to still be stuck on her because she still loves me and has deep rooted feelings for me. This isn't the first time shes broken up with me, but it is the 1st time she started talking to a guy right after or during.

Also like I mentioned as far as her coming back, if/when she does it'll be up to me to decide like Boost said. :D

[ultm8mind]

You're right the choice is yours and it seems like you like the break up/ make up thing. You'll take her back is what it's looking like to me. Oh well, I guess you like your girl leaving you and coming back, I dunno. I have never been one for drama and when I break it off with a chick she's dead to me.....

[TripperFx3]

lol I know i'm probably frustrating you guys. I decided today that after we get our issues worked out I'd leave everything in her court and just break off contact. When she comes by to check on the dog I'll just be aloof and let her do her thing. If she talks to me I'm not going to be a total ass and not talk to her, but I'm not going to initiate anything else with her.

I don't enjoy her leaving and coming back. In fact this only happened once before and she did come back to me, but she also didn't have another guy (as far as I know) that time. All I'm saying is that after being together for so long its just hard to say she's dead to me and if she decides she wants to come back to me and if I'm willing to take her back that we'll try to work through any more issues, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for her. I'm going to go out and live my life.

[jktripp]

i agree with the above, don't show interest. it will drive her nuts and right back to you and then you can decide if you want her back or not. don't be an ass because you care, but there is a difference. you seem like you are holding together pretty good. it seems as though the guy always needs that last talk... i know i did in the past. think it's just the way we are (guys).

[TripperFx3]

^^^I think most guys are this way, but ultim8mind may not be lol. I truly think it's funny that the guy calls her his girlfriend, but she refuses to acknowledge him as her boyfriend to even her friends.

Again I just need closure on the subject matter and then I'll truly be much better. It's just been tough getting her to talk to me, so earlier today I sent her a txt message saying that it seems like she doesn't want to talk to me just yet and it's fine. I basically just put the ball back in her court and let her know I'm impartial. Well as impartial as I can ben lol. I still would like to talk sooner than later.

[jktripp]

i know, just give her space. i know it's hard as hell, eating at you every f**%ing second. but the more you text her and try, the more she will turn to him to get away from it. sucks but it's true. closure..... look in the mirror and talk out loud what you would say to her and let that be it for now.... the more you try, the more she will run. man, it sucks you are having to go thru this. write it down instead of texting and then put it away. dont give it to her. right now she knows you are there and she is using that as a cushion knowing you will be there. she knows she can 'have her cake and eat it too'. drop all communication and let her wonder what/who you are out having fun with. even if you aren't, she will never know. grab a girl to be seen with, so it gets back to her that you are fine without he, just like she is acting towards you.

[TripperFx3]

i know, just give her space. i know it's hard as hell, eating at you every f**%ing second. but the more you text her and try, the more she will turn to him to get away from it. sucks but it's true. closure..... look in the mirror and talk out loud what you would say to her and let that be it for now.... the more you try, the more she will run. man, it sucks you are having to go thru this. write it down instead of texting and then put it away. dont give it to her. right now she knows you are there and she is using that as a cushion knowing you will be there. she knows she can 'have her cake and eat it too. drop all communication and let her wonder what/who you are out having fun with. even if you aren't, she will never know. grab a girl to be seen with, so it gets back to her that you are fine without he, just like she is acting towards you.

Thanks for your concern. It's actually funny though because she broke up with me a few years ago and my buddy tried to set me up with one of his GF's friends. She heard that and was all over me, but she didn't have a guy she went to right after she broke up with me. I also don't think that being seen with a girl will really help the situation this time around because she already thought I was cheating on her. I actually think that me just keeping busy and hanging out with friends will get to her more because it feels like she just wants me to sit around and moap about it.

[jktripp]

hanging with friends is good too. either way she will see that you are fine with her or without her. if she thinks you cheated, then that is what the other guy is for. to make her feel better, even if it's just as friends. drown yourself in your friends and everything will work out the way it should. never know, by the time she decides to come back, you may have a completely different outlook on the situation than you do now, and decide that you are better off starting fresh with someone else. time will only tell. unfortunately... but, it is friday, you better be out having fun tomorrow night instead of sitting in front of the computer...

[TripperFx3]

lol I was actually out until about 8 today. To be honest I've been going against my nature and i've been being a bit introverted. It's mainly because I'm only here in Reno to go through school and I had Sam and didn't want friends to distract me in my school work. It's one of the reasons why I did so poorly when I was going to KSU. I'm much more mature now and shouldn't have done that because now I only have a few friends I can rely on out here, so thats why its so tough now.

Also I know they're more than friends, but she says they're "talking" and not dating yet. Regardless she'll be here in a bit to take care of the dog and I'm going to try the avoidance method, well rather it's my apartment, so I'm just going to act like shes not here I guess? lol

[ultm8mind]

^^^I think most guys are this way, but ultim8mind may not be lol. I truly think it's funny that the guy calls her his girlfriend, but she refuses to acknowledge him as her boyfriend to even her friends.

I don't know, sometimes you need closure and sometimes you need to get the hell outta there, lol. BTW, I am Bruce. I am just a simple guy, lol, turned 33 last week and am in the Army. I have been in what seems hundreds of relationships. Although it hasn't been that many, haha. I was with a girl for about 5 years and she is about the only one I talked to after we "broke up." Some others I talk to because we were "together" but not really committed. Other than that my "girlfriends," are ghosts to me. Also helps being in the Army, LOL, I get to move every few years.
I have been out of the game for a bit though, so my advice may be the old ways of thinking. This is the "kinder/gentler" world these days. I guess I am not as sympathetic as some, lol.......

[TripperFx3]

No worries Bruce and I truly took your advice to heart and thank you for it. Also I hope you know my comment was just a joke and nothing bad. Also everyone has different ways to help them get over a relationship. Mine is the closure method, or the "kinder/gentler" way lol. I'm 23 and was raised by my mother, so despite the fact I'm a fairly large guy (read LARGE not FAT!!!) (5'10" and 192 pounds, packed on a lot of muscle doing Capoeira :D), I'm actually a bit of a softy and people are surprised to see how calm my mentality really is when they meet me.

On another note I just spent the last hour and a half talking to Sam and it went incredibly well. Her body language pretty much said everything I needed to hear, which is she feels really guilty about everything. She said she still loves me, but is unsure if she wants to get back together anytime soon (again I'm not expecting this in anyway, shape or form), but after I said what I had to say and she got out what she needed to say I felt much better, which is good because I actually felt pretty shitty after around 9pm. She also realizes she's in the infatuation stages with this guy and told me she had every intention of taking things slow with him, which if it was as slow as it was with me he probably won't have the patience that I did lol. I also got to tell her and, more importantly, got her to listen to the fact that it was this guy that said he was known for having back-ups and that it wasn't me that said that. Also before he started talking to Sam he was already talking to this other girl that was about ready to jump his bones and that Sam herself witnessed this little texting fiasco he was having with this woman and the very sexual things he was saying and talking about with this woman. I also had a really bad dream about her in which I was laying in bed and I slowly start to see her move her hand and then head move into view and she's completely covered in bruises. It was so bad that when I woke up I ended up throwing my cat off of me. I know just about everyone has had dreams that have in a way come true and I think we all can agree no one here wants to see a woman beat up. I truly got that kind of bad vibe from him when I 1st met him.

Lastly I made it clear that I do still care for her, but am not going to be her cushion. The only reason I made this verbally clear was due to the fact that she could just look at me tell that I still cared for her and didn't want her to take that as a sign of weakness. regardless I'm very happy with the way things went. I do think that we will eventually end up back together sooner or later (if it works out for me too) and think I can finally have a full happy day now that I've got the closure I needed.

[ultm8mind]

Good for you, I didn't take offense, just saying, lol. Good that you had you're talk, now go back to ignoring her, lol....

[Evolvedgti]

Tripp, while I am really glad that you got your closure, but I have to be a voice of reason. you were together for 5 years. This should mean she knows which forums you frequent. This means she could read this thread and know your 'game' plan. just saying! Stay strong man, don't give her too much ammo. ;)

[TripperFx3]

lol Thanks for the heads up and I already thought about that. To tell the truth even if she does see this it doesn't matter. If she is checking the forums I visit it means shes just not over me and is just as concern with what I'm doing.

[Evolvedgti]

lol Thanks for the heads up and I already thought about that. To tell the truth even if she does see this it doesn't matter. If she is checking the forums I visit it means shes just not over me and is just as concern with what I'm doing.

This is true! lol

[TripperFx3]

Well she actually just dropped by around 3 my time to take care of the dog and as soon as she walked in she started talking to me like nothing had happened. I didn't even say anything to her other than "hey." She also told me what time she would be coming by tonight after her show to take care of the dog. I may be reading into it to much, but it seems like she wants me to know when she'll be there because she wants to see me. It's like ya'll have said though. She may just want to know that I'm there and not out and about. If i'm home I'm not going to just leave when she comes over though. It's my apartment and I don't want her to think she has the power to run me out. We also take Capoeira classes together and told her that I was still planning on going both Monday and Friday and asked if she was going to be going. She said she'd be going on Fridays only, but again I'm not going to leave this hobby just because shes going to be there. On the other hand if she brings this guy and he happens to get kicked in the face, then I can't be held responsible :D

[GoBoost]

Dude seriously... i wouldnt mess with someone that does capoeira regularly lol.

[Chemwarrior]

Dude seriously... i wouldnt mess with someone that does capoeira regularly lol.

I would but Tripper knows my martial arts background. :D

[ultm8mind]

I would mess with a martial artist. But that's just me, LOL

[1d10t]

Hey, Trip. My advice is this. There are like 3 Billion chicks out there. 1% of them virgins lol. Go eat at hooters, youll feel a lot better. Im sure it hurts, and you were comfortable in a relationship.

Ask yourself this "Can I get over the fact that she flirted with the idea of being with some one else? Am I sure she wont again?"

I send her down the road, and chalk it up to experience.

[Hikaru]

^+ like 1000! Perfect advice man. The fact that she is even flirting with the idea of being with someone else is such a deal breaker. That right there says she in unsure of being commited to you. Prolly time to move on bro and do like 1d10t said: chalk it up to experience.

[TripperFx3]

I appreciate the advice guys and it's like I said I'm not keeping my hopes up that she'll come back to me and to be honest, and I realize this as well, there were things in the relationship that I did that pushed her away. I'm not saying it was entirely my fault, but I do accept and realize that most of the blame is on me. Regardless of what happens I'll def. chaulk it up to experience. If we do get back together theres going to be trust issues of course and this guy will have to completely be out of the picture in her life. I know it's going to be hard, but like I said before I'm not the most religous man, but I believe that some sort of higher power has a plan for me and that everything that happens, happens for a reason. We've broken up twice before and each time she's come back to me, so like I said I would like for her to come back if we can work things out, but this will be the last time. If something happens like this again we will more than definitely be finished.

[hope666]

To be honest I'm sure it was something I did. I've changed a lot for her, but when things got bad between us and she wanted me to change some more I felt like I had done enough. She's mad at me because she said all I do is sit on the couch, watch TV and play videogames and she wants to go out and do stuff. Which we actually do go out a lot, but it's not like I'm the guy that likes going to the club every weekend like she wants to do. After we talked on Monday morning I felt like the relationship had been renewed and was ready to make those changes, but obviously I won't have the chance to.

Also, it's like I said. I do want her back, but if she has already messed around with this other guy theres no way I can do it.

Look girls are like this. It's always your fault, they always find good excuse for what they've done. It sounds like my "almost wife" as I call her. Even that she had everything and didn't have to worry about nothing (She even didn't have to work), something was always wrong, I spent too much time on this and not enough on something else, but when new car was sitting in garage for her everything was cool. And there was no bitching. And then I found out that bitch was cheating on me by a while already, and we were just about to get married...
So I packed her and kick her out. Sold the car, terminated her cell phone...
All in one day. :) And believe me when she was "leaving" she was still telling me how many things I was doing wrong etc. etc...

Trust me girls are like cars, sometimes it's time to let the "old one" go and step up to newer model. Well... with small difference that my car doesn't complain all the time :D

So don't worry find some nice girl (or two girls) on next party and "fuk the shit" of her (or them)!!! That will make you feel better. Just be smart, don't give her your cellphone number...
This way you'll avoid issues in future :)

[em1toevo]

^Very good advice!

[TripperFx3]

Well it seems she has cut the lines of communications. Yesterday I had remembered somethings that I wanted to talk to her about and asked if we could talk today. When she came by this morning she said we might be able to talk this evening. Just after she left she asked what I wanted to talk about. I told her just some more stuff that I'd like to get cleared up. She asked "about the relationship?" I said yes and she responded "I'm not sure if I want to talk to you about that." I told her if that's her decision thats fine, but I wanted to know why. She said it was because someone had told her that I had planned on leaving her in July anyways and to stop texting her, when shes the one who started texting me 1st. I just told her that it was not true and there were obviously things that still needed to be cleared up, but if it makes it easier for her to get over me by just being pissed off then so be it and heard nothing else. I think I'm just truly done with this shit. I just can't believe that she would just throw away a great 5 year relationship because she felt that she wasn't treated right and wouldn't even give me the chance to fix it.

[1d10t]

Honestly, man I wish you the best. I think acting like that makes it worse. If it were me, and for some reason I wanted the girl back, Id act as if she didnt exist. It works really well. It helps your confidence, which women like, and it shows that youre not weak (not that Im saying that youre weak but ya know).

You need to stop blaming yourself so much. If youre just yourself, youre not at fault. Everyone can improve (ie fart less in public), but if two people cannot be themselves, or have to walk on egg shells to make the other happy....
Thats a disaster. Believe me, Im mahmahmarried. She wasnt my first rodeo either, so listen to our advice.

GL :cool:

[TripperFx3]

Thanks mate. I merely meant that if I had wanted to keep her around, which I did because I truly loved her and still do with all my heart, I should have just showed her more that I did love her as much as I did. I've come to accept that we probably won't be together, I'm not holding on to the fact that we may get back together and trying to move on, but the wounds are still fresh and it's going to take a while for my Emo stage to pass. lol

[jktripp]

yeah, i have to agree. next time she asks, tell her there is nothing worth talking to her about. don't speak to her again. why is she coming there to feed the dog? tell her to take that thing with her and let her 'friend' take care of it. tell her you will do her a favor and put it down for her if she likes.... i forgot for a second that you moved out there for school. did she move with you?? hell, she doesnt deserve you or your attention. forget her. hell, ship her dog to me, i'll put it down for you. damn, am i being too harsh? sorry. got carried away there for a minute. she deserves to get s#!t on by this guy. don't waste your time with her. there is nothing more to say to her. man, sorry. just wired up a little. i hate when girls play with emotions like this. you owe her nothing. if the dog is yours, she doesn't need to come feed it. if it's hers, she needs to pick it up and stop coming to the apartment. she made her decision. she needs to go. you are better than that. anybody is better than that. it's not your fault. move on. *take a deep breath* *pause* *exhale* feel better? i do. had to get that out. don't hate on me. just hope you get thru this quick.

[jktripp]

but i wish you the best of luck getting thru this. hope you get thru it better than i do... im the same way. guess that is why it pisses me off so bad, bc i am just like you. ie: trying to talk and trying to talk and texting and trying to talk and texting.... just so you know you aren't the only one....

[jktripp]

now i look back (now that i am over it ) and say 'damn i was a dumbass'. not that you are a dumbass, just me in my own eyes viewing my own experience... :)

[TripperFx3]

Tripp man... lol. That was a pretty good rant! The reason she keeps the dog here though is because his apartment doesn't allow dogs. She's also still paying me rent to keep the dog here at the apartment along with her stuff. Also, I know she could keep the dog somewhere else, but I know she's not over me and I think she's using this as a way to see me. When she does come over though I don't initiate conversations. The most I do is say "Hi" and then she normally just starts talking to me about stuff. I'm not an asshole to her, but I'm not exactly as talkative as I used to be either. I'm also not going to leave the apartment whenever she comes here because it's my apartment and I'm not going to let her feel like she can run me out of here. I also don't text her first either. She texted me. It's like I said I'm one of those guys that needs to have closure on the matter. Her mom actually called me again today and we were talking and I told her what happened (read my post above) and she told me to write her a letter, so thats what I did and I'm leaving it at that. It was a very heart felt, thoughtful letter in which I was able to get some more things off my chest and afterwards I felt better. I didn't care if she tore the letter up or read it and wanted to get back with me. I know that it just made me feel better and thats all that matters right now.

[jktripp]

understood my forum friend. as long as it helps you.

[TouringBubble]

Trip, I've read this and I have some advice. I'll ask your permission to write it though as it may upset you. I promise it all comes from experience and most other here will agree with me. Just let me know if you want the truth ...

[Chemwarrior]

This reminds me of a phrase. "Me thinks you doth protest too much". It basically means if she is blaming you for things that have gone wrong (cheating) with the relationship without any proof then it is more likely than not that she is the one that is doing that bad behavior.

[TripperFx3]

Touring, go ahead man.

Chem, just to clear this up, she feels like she has proof because she saw how many text messages I had sent to this girl and she had sent me. She didn't know the content of these messages though, so you could be right.

[TouringBubble]

Trip, when you were broken up before she was talking to another dude. This is assuming she's the one that broke it off. I'm not saying she planned it, but she met a guy and was interested ... it turned in to something so she broke it off with you. Then, it didn't work and she came back.

She's keeping you on a leash ... actually, you're keeping yourself on a leash. As long as you keep actively trying to get her back she will let you stay on that leash because it's safe. Just like before, if things don't work you're right there waiting. she knows it and as long as she knows it she doesn't have to choose. She'll keep fooling around with this other dude not worrying about you because you're still at her feet begging.

If you cut her off she may start to consider how she really feels about you. this means stop talking to her. Tell her to get her crap and her dog out of your place, stop talking to her family and stop asking her friends what she's up to. "You don't know what you've got till it's gone" is completely true here ... you're not gone. Become gone.

It sounds like she's kind of trying to let you down easy by even talking to you at all. "Just infatuation" is BS. She's being nice. Her friends are likely lying about what they know to not hurt you as well. And with the whole dog thing she's completely using you. Stop that sh!t if you want to maintain your self respect. It's her responsibility and you are letting her pawn it off on you.

You HAVE to set things straight ... be the boss. She hurt you. Stop pining and get her out of your life. You'll both be able to seriously think about things then. you sitting around the house waiting for her to come over is pretty pathetic and you have no chance of her coming back if you keep it up.

Either way, when this is over I hope you'll realize that you don't want her back. She's done this twice and you can do better. Start getting over her NOW. I've been there man ... I was engaged even. I took her back twice and I know now it was a severely stupid choice. It almost ruined what I had with the woman I'm now married to.

In short, you are currently allowing this crap to keep going. Put a stop to it.

[TripperFx3]

I completely understand what your saying man. I don't know where your getting she was talking to another guy before though? I'm not mad just wanting some clarification. Also the only reason I'm here when she comes over is not because I'm waiting for her to come over, but it's because I honestly have no where else to go. I don't have many friend out here yet. I also don't know when she's going to be coming over. I could probably head over to my Dad's whenever she does come over as long as it's not 1 in the morning which she does sometimes come over then. Other than that, like I said, I'm just sitting on the couch watching TV and have no communication with her.

Also to clarify and I know I may catch some flack with this, but the 1st time she broke up with me I was very oppressive to her and actually physically held her down the night she left me. About 2 weeks later she found out she was pregnant. It obviously didn't go through because I don't have a kid. I'm not going to say what happened though. Needless to say we got back together. About another year or so after that she broke up with me again and thats when she had been told that I was going to be "seeing" another girl. I never did, but when she heard that she came running back. The 3rd time I honestly can't remember what happened to break us up. I just remember she thought I was cheating on her, she physically attacked me at Dicks on Barrett Parkway. We talked that same night and worked things out. This is the 1st time I've never known her to have a guy on the side which is why I'm curious as to why you say she may have fooled around before.

Lastly I'm going to be completely cutting contact with her though. I'm done with this as well and like I said I believe that God has a plan for me and if God brings us back together then so be it. If not then I know I'll meet someone else. Again not trying to push beliefs on anyone else just stating what I believe.

[TouringBubble]

I'm just saying it's human nature ... many of the guys here have probably done the same or had it done to them. You're in a relationship and happen to meet someone that interests you ... you start spending more and more time with them and you realize it more than a friendship. That's when you cut things off. It's rare that someone just decides that they want to be alone and just leaves ... there is usually a reason or another person.

Now, if the holding down situation had happened before then maybe she was honestly scared and that's why she left ...

But, based on what I'm reading I think she's fooled around before. Also, don't put so much weight on her sleeping with someone else. Ron Jeremy made a good point in an interview once ... he said he could care less if the girl he was with was going around having sex with everyone. He said he'd be much more hurt to see he walking in the park holding hands with another guy.

While I won't go that far with it, he has a point. Emotional connections are as strong as physical ones.

[TripperFx3]

The whole holding down thing happened along time ago and that was probably one of the few things she truly forgave me about. It never came up again in arguments. My reason for holding her down, even though it was wrong, was we had just had a big fight and she wanted to go and I just wanted her to wait around a cool off and not go off and drive like a maniac and kill herself.

As for what your saying I agree. I've done it before as well in my past relationship. I met a girl that I liked, we hung out at work and ended up dating her for a bit, but I ended up going back to my Ex. I've actually told myself not to be so worried about the sex thing as well. Your right though. Emotional connections are more important than physical. I know she still has the emotional connections with me and I know she's trying to break them as am I with her. You can't have a successful relationship with another person without breaking the ties that bind you to the previous one. I've also agreed to completely leave her alone. Even when she comes over I'm probably just going to go for a drive or something and let her do what she needs to do unless of course I'm doing homework or something lol.

I truly hope that I can go to San Francisco with my Dad this weekend. I'm supposed to have final this Saturday, but put in a request to take the make up final. I know that will really take my mind off everything. The only thing that really sucks about this whole situation is that I don't have many friend here yet. I told myself I was just going to focus on school and shot myself in the foot with that one.

[1d10t]

Stop in Vegas on the way to San Fran. You know what I mean Lol.

5 years IS a long time, but a lifetime with the wrong person is way worse
If this gal is the one, it seems that she has a lot of growing up to do.

Plus, you drive an evo. You should be pulling pu$$y by the boatload lol

OOps, Im in trouble...

[jktripp]

you still want my address for the dog? :P

[TripperFx3]

lol I think she actually took the dog for good after whatever someone told her that really pissed her off.

1d10t, I agree and already told myself that. She just needs to get her mind right, so to speak, and grow up. She's never been in a long term relationship before me and I think she just really wanted me to propose to her, but with the same issues coming up again and again I wanted to get those resolved before I did the deed. I truly did have every intention of marrying her, but obviously not now.

On another note I truly had a great night! I went to Capoeira and expected to see the normal people there, but then in walks this beautiful, slender girl. She seemed very sweet and out going and it turned out she was friends with a couple that comes to class and the couple came later. I got to teach her some capoeira moves and just seemed to have a good time with her. She even gave me a hug when I left. I'm not saying anything is going to happen with this girl, but it was just one of those things that after all I'm going through, it was just nice to meet another beautiful sweet girl. As the old saying goes "God never closes a door without opening a window."

[jktripp]

awesome man! better things are always in the future, never in the past.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks Tripp. It's funny you say that, my Mom was telling me "the past isn't real (guess because it's already happened?) and all that is real is the present."

Another funny thing is one of her only real friends out here (the girl from the couple we had been hanging out with here in NV) sent me a message on myspace basically cussing me out and saying how bad I had treated Sam and all this crap (she of course has no idea except what Sam tells her which is all bad stuff right now) and I sent a calm and rational message back, not even really telling my side of the story. Then she sent me something back that was a little less abrasive. Again I sent a very calm rational message. She responded back apologizing and saying she realizes there are two sides to every story. Again I sent her something back saying that I was glad to hear the apology and that I always loved Sam for the almost 5 years we were together (which is of course true) and offered to tell her my side of the story if she wanted to hear it and thanked her and her BF for their hospitality, which they really were good to me. I guess what I'm getting to is DAMN I'm good with words!!! lol I really should be studying to be a lawyer! I could be The 1st non-crooked lawyer that would actually win cases! lol

Oh yea... I forgot to mention that this girl is a Ballerina and if you could see some of the things she was doing today... lol jk

[em1toevo]

It looks like you're taking steps in the right direction, Tripp. I think you are doing the right thing by doing what you have to do while keeping your eyes open for new opportunities;) One day Sam will look back on all of this and realize that she screwed up a great thing. Her loss.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks Brett. I really do wish her the best and hope she learns this sooner than later. I don't care if she doesn't come back to me, but I don't want her to screw up her life with this guy. It's almost inevitable that he will screw her over.

[hope666]

Thanks Brett. I really do wish her the best and hope she learns this sooner than later. I don't care if she doesn't come back to me, but I don't want her to screw up her life with this guy. It's almost inevitable that he will screw her over.

WOW.

What Dr. Phil would say?

[Evolvedgti]

WOW.

What Dr. Phil would say?

lol :D

[Evolvedgti]

I guess I am a straight up A-hole. If what happened to you, happened to me, all of it including the grabbing thing. If she forgave me. and had left not one but three other times, she would be 'dead' to me.My point is if 'we' could get thru all that, and she was pressing me to buy a ring and then to leave, screw that. I would consider myself lucky that I dodged that bullet. my WIFE doesn't even tell me what I can't buy before I do something. I would rather be alone then to be with someone whom did not want to be with me. Three weeks man, is all it took for her to step out. She 'thought' you were cheating so she is recipricating. its like the saying" I love you, but I dont LIKE you right now". your saying about the window, man climb thru that window and RUN. You don't need that crap. DO YOU, and come back where you have friends and finish off school.

I don't 'know' you like that, but it hurts my 'human' side to hear of crap like this. YOU will be good and come out on top. Let her do her. it isnt worth it!

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

It always hurts to hear this kind of stuff happen. I know the time and effort you have put into that relationship and cant help but hope things will work out. On the flip side I would have to agree with most of the previous posts, you do deserve better and Im happy to see you starting to branch out a bit.

On a side not, please dont hate me for making a new forum section, lol! I just couldnt help myself, it seemed so fitting :D

[TripperFx3]

Lol Ryan... I like that. NorCalEvo has a relationship, dating, sex section, so that's really cool. Also I agree with you completely. I really do still wish, in the back of my mind, that things would work out between us, but at the same time I just feel like I've been screwed over for the last time and I don't think I can deal with it. I guess it'll just come down to if that actually happens and I'll have to see how I feel at that point and time.

Jon, I'm actually on board with you now. I think I've moved past the wallowing in my sorrow thing already and have moved on to the anger stage. I'm not saying I'm going to yell at her if I see her, but I'm certainly not going to be going out of my way if she want's to talk or anything like that. She actually texted me today asking if I had found a new apartment and I have no intention to text her back after all she did all weekend was tell me she wanted me to leave her alone. If she wants me to leave her alone then thats what Ill do lol. And if I really wanted to her name and mine are on the lease, so I guess I could take her to court if she decided to stop paying rent. I'm not sure what the rule on that stuff is. I don't think I'd do that though and may actually just keep the apartment until the lease is up whether she pays or not. I have 5k coming in January from some inheritance and while I was planning on putting that in a money market account or something if I have to use it, I have to use it. Plus I'm rather enjoying having the apartment all to myself now.

And to clear things up Jon, she did leave me twice. Once I did deserve it. I mean if you held a girl down you wouldn't expect her to stay with you. The 2nd time I didn't even know anything was going on and she did leave me for no reason, but we got back together a week later and she was still wanting to hang out with me even before she heard that I might be dating another girl. The 3rd time I left her. I had to think about it for a while, but I remember I did leave her that time. Not defending her actions this time around in anyway, shape or form, but I'm sure you remember dating when you were 18, 19, 20 and probably didn't really grow up, so to speak, and learn to deal with relationship problems until you were a bit older. I thought she had grown up, but obviously not.

[Evolvedgti]

I hear you, and sometimes anger is good! What is up with her asking you if YOU found an apartment. She left, so SHE should leave. I don't get it. o- well. Glad you are feeling better about it. I had to get that off my chest. woo saw, lol
;)

[TripperFx3]

I hear you, and sometimes anger is good! What is up with her asking you if YOU found an apartment. She left, so SHE should leave. I don't get it. o- well. Glad you are feeling better about it. I had to get that off my chest. woo saw, lol
;)

She probably asked me that because she is or was paying me rent still and the verbal agreement was she would pay me her half of the rent until the lease ran out, but she's probably not wanting to do that anymore since she wants to get a place of her own or move in with another one of her friends. I'm inclined to make her live with this guy though because the more they live together the more they'll have to deal with each others shit then quicker she'll split up with him or him her and then she'll truly be on her own. She couldn't even stand to live/stay with me after knowing each other and being together for almost 3-3.5 years before we moved in together.

[TouringBubble]

The living situation is easy ... if her name is on the lease, make this deal ...

She pays the fee to break the lease and you both move out
or she keeps paying her part till the lease is up

She's legally bound to the place just like you are.

[TripperFx3]

Thats what I thought. Thanks for the heads up man.

[hope666]

Dr. Phil say...

[TripperFx3]

God I really hate this shit... I keep on going into these damn slumps. All yesterday and most of today was great... Now the damn worst got the best of me and I ended up texting her back about the apt. All I said was I was busy with finals right now and didn't have time to look for an apartment. It's sorta funny though. I know she came over after work and I know she went through my comp. I asked her if she did and she lied and said she didn't care what I was up to. I know she went through my e-mail and probably read this thread as well though. Thats BS though... It really feels like shes lying to herself by trying to start something with this guy that she doesn't really feel is there. If that makes sense? Anyways I know whenever she talks about me to others she cries, so I know shes not over me. I just really wish we could get this crap sorted out, so we could both go on with our lives. Anyways... I guess I just still love her. It's going to be hard to move on. I just hope that one day she's sitting alone and will think about what happened and give me a call and we can work out everything. Not necessarily get back together, but just work out our problems. I truly hate being angry or going through this kinda shit with anyone and just want to resolve issues as soon as possible. I know she knows this though and it's probably why she's not talking to me. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Sorry guys. I know it's going to be like this for a while and I will be up and down for a bit. I guess I just started to touch the tip of the "anger" stage of getting over her lol. I'm not an angry guy, so I know it's going to go by fast too. I just need to get out of here for a bit and I'm really looking forward to spending the weekend in San Francisco.

[hope666]

Dude you really need Dr. Phil...

[jktripp]

hurry up and get angry!! 'you wont like me when im angry'. the hell we wont. put a dang password on your computer! nosey girl. if you are reading this, send me your dog. i'll take care of it. you dont need dr phil, you need a punching bag, and a mature girl to get you over his little immature girl. shes no good for you. she chose this, so let her cry to her friends because its her loss. see ya!! you both signed the apartment lease, so tough crap. if she cant afford, get her friends to pay it. she delt the hand that she is playing. quit playing her games. erase her number from your phone and your head. get mad!! and get her out of your head. i dont think its love anymore, its the 'what if' stage. what if.... we were together,.... if i could say this,.... if i could say that,.... if i hadnt have done this,.... if i hadve done this,..... if i had talked more about this,.... if i had said this,.... if i hadve said that,..... if i wouldve done this,..... if i couldve done that,..... bullshit. its no good what she is doing/done/going to do/about to do. she made the decision, and wants to make sure you are there hurting. bullshit. bullshit. bullshit. get mad and get over it. shes f**king with your head and emotions. f*** that. DON'T text her even if she begs. there are billions of girls out there that are waiting to meet you. maybe you arent ready today or tommorrow, but you will be one day, and stop letting her run your life. you are your own master. stop being a slave to her. she texts and waits for your kneeling. break that habit. see the text, dont read it, erase it and say out loud, no thank you, i am fine without you. byebye.

[jktripp]

since this is a public forum.... i will say this.... ' i say send the dog to me, but not with any intentions of harming said dog in any way. i would probably just take it to the humane society, so that they can do it.' ;P lol

[TripperFx3]

lol That mean Tripp, but I get your point. The dogs a good dog though.

I actually thought about calling Loveline lol. Dr. Drew is the shit.

[jktripp]

just trying to make you laugh tripp. all in good fun. hope everything is getting easier for you.

[TouringBubble]

It sounds like she is a little torn about the decision ... it makes sense. She really does still care for you but wants to go out and meet new people and try new things. People get that way.

My suggestion is to no hold on to that thought man ... let it go. there is a reason she wants to meet other people. She's not upset because she wants to be with you ... she's upset because she wants to stop thinking about you and can't. My ex fiance was the EXACT same way. She would talk to her family and tell them that she wasn't happy being with me, but she couldn't stop thinking about me either. She would break down too ...

But it comes back to the same place ... she's trying to get you out of her head. I'm not saying to give her a reason to do it faster because there is a chance she could change her mind. But don't hang on that hope. this is her choice and she's actively trying to get you out of her head ... that's not likely to change soon.

Go out, have some fun. Forget about her ... at least for a few hours. Pick up a new hobby maybe ...

[em1toevo]

Isn't prostitution legal in parts of Nevada....lol j/k! I agree with getting new hobbies.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

Isn't prostitution legal in parts of Nevada....lol j/k! I agree with getting new hobbies.

lol Brett....just wrong (shakes head) lol

[TripperFx3]

lol Brett... The bunny ranch is about an hour outside town if I really get that lonely...

Matt, that truly is the one thing that makes a lot of sense. That really helps me out right now, as you all have, but your completely right. I also already gave up hope of her ever coming back to me. I guess I still just say "I wish" every now and then though. I know she's still thinking of me and will be unable to truly be happy until she stops, but thats on her. All I can do is not text her or talk to her even if she texts me. I'm probably going to go to a club this weekend (funny that this is one of the reasons she broke up to me because I never liked clubs, but what do you know... lol), with some friends that I've reestablished contact with out here on Thursday. I probably shouldn't go because I have a final on Friday, but it'll be an easy one lol.

Tripp, I truly appreciate it man and thank you. You've made me laugh more than a few times. :D

[Chemwarrior]

I'm glad Ryan made this separate forum. I have a feeling it was made with me in mind. LOL. We all know that I'm the relationship advice giver. LOL.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

I'm glad Ryan made this separate forum. I have a feeling it was made with me in mind. LOL. We all know that I'm the relationship advice giver. LOL.

lol you know its funny because I contemplated calling it Heart to Heart with Dr Dan, lol! Then I was going to change your status to "Dr Dan the <3 Dr, lol!

[Chemwarrior]

lol you know its funny because I contemplated calling it Heart to Heart with Dr Dan, lol! Then I was going to change your status to "Dr Dan the <3 Dr, lol!

You should do it. You know me too well. :D I've debated about giving my advice on Tripp's problem but have so far remained quiet. You never know when I'll pop in and drop some psychological ninja words of wisdom.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

You should do it. You know me too well. :D I've debated about giving my advice on Tripp's problem but have so far remained quiet. You never know when I'll pop in and drop some psychological ninja words of wisdom.

lol! Thats why we love having you here Dan :)

[TripperFx3]

Dan. Feel free to drop your advice mate!

Also she texted me this morning asking me to tell her when I've found another apartment, so we can buy out of my lease and she can get some debt paid off and get on with her life. Like getting her debt paid off is going to make her get over me and move on with life...?

[Evolvedgti]

Dan. Feel free to drop your advice mate!

Also she texted me this morning asking me to tell her when I've found another apartment, so we can buy out of my lease and she can get some debt paid off and get on with her life. Like getting her debt paid off is going to make her get over me and move on with life...?

Am I missing something. How is buying the lease out going to help pay off debt?

[hope666]

I'm glad Ryan made this separate forum. I have a feeling it was made with me in mind. LOL. We all know that I'm the relationship advice giver. LOL.

No no no this forum was started for Dr. Hope, it's like new and improved Dr. Phil

[hope666]

Am I missing something. How is buying the lease out going to help pay off debt?

Yeah I am curious too. WTF?

[jktripp]

she is just trying to get a reaction from you tripp.........

[jktripp]

jsut say 'blah blah blah, i dont speak immature.' 'sorry'. 'press one for grown up english, then hang up and try your call to another number.' 'thank you, bye bye.'

[ZIGZAG]

Hey Tripp, hang tough papa! Just been through something similar and we got back in sync on a higher level. Take some advice and try to be you! It's the original you that she enjoyed. Don't smother her or chase her too much at this point. Send her love but start doing your own thing bro until she comes to her senses...if it was meant to be.
BTW don't let infidelity be the end all to any committed relationship . Both sides can and do screw up but there are even bigger challenges ahead.

[TripperFx3]

Thats the point I was making. Her not paying me rent and getting debt payed off is not going to help her "move on with her life." That's the funny point... Now laugh... lol And yes I realize she's just trying to get a reaction.

Gran, I'm sorry to hear that mate, but glad things worked out. Your married to right? If you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me via PM, I'd be interested to hear what happened. Not trying to pry just interested if you have any tips mainly.

[ZIGZAG]

will do bro. Happy to share knowledge from experiences.

Thats the point I was making. Her not paying me rent and getting debt payed off is not going to help her "move on with her life." That's the funny point... Now laugh... lol And yes I realize she's just trying to get a reaction.

Gran, I'm sorry to hear that mate, but glad things worked out. Your married to right? If you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me via PM, I'd be interested to hear what happened. Not trying to pry just interested if you have any tips mainly.

[TouringBubble]

The way I see it with the apartment is that she's the one who chose to make the change in the relationship and to move out. Why should you have to change the way you are living? It was her choice ... let her pay to break the lease or pay rent till it's up, then you move. If you had to take it to court she'd have to pay ...

You could be nice and pay half, but it's usually an insane price ... like 3 months rent or something. It cost me like $2300 to break my lease when I moved to Alabama ... it went to collections and I settled for $1800 before it went to my credit.

[TripperFx3]

These apartments really aren't that bad and as far as I know she's still going to pay. For us to break the lease we have to pay for the rest of the current month and then for another full month that I'm not going to be there.

[TouringBubble]

I think mine was prorated from the date I moved + 2 months at market rate ... about $900/mo I think.

I hope the drama dies down for you soon.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks man. I feel like it already has. Not talking to her has done me world of good. She just needs to sort this stuff out on here own.

[jktripp]

glad it's getting better. glad she got that dog out of your hair.... you are welcome...;) lol. hope my comments havent been too brash, only meant for fun and laugher.

[hope666]

The way I see it with the apartment is that she's the one who chose to make the change in the relationship and to move out. Why should you have to change the way you are living? It was her choice ... let her pay to break the lease or pay rent till it's up, then you move. If you had to take it to court she'd have to pay ...

You could be nice and pay half, but it's usually an insane price ... like 3 months rent or something. It cost me like $2300 to break my lease when I moved to Alabama ... it went to collections and I settled for $1800 before it went to my credit.

That's right don't let her play with you. Why you should change your way of life because she wants to make a change. Fuk that.
Look Dr. Hope is telling you right now... don't answer phones, don't respond to emails. Just live your life as nothing happened. You'll be fine.
Let her deal with her sh..it herself. Then she'll learn...
Sounds harsh I know but... "life is brutal"...

[TripperFx3]

Tripp, Hope, no hard feelings guys. I know your just trying to help and you truly have. I'm going to SF this weekend, so like I said that'll be a great distraction to everything and I at least get to look at the so-rich-ill-never-be-able-to-afford-them-bay-area girls lol.

[jktripp]

so you are getting to go, with your dad right?? have fun. that should be awesome!!

[TripperFx3]

Yes I'm going with my Dad. Should be a good time. Just being a tourist lol. I'll probably be picking up some Chick-fil-a too which I haven't had since this summer!!!

[YSLBTT]

tripp sorry to hear bro, if you need to talk to someone we're always here.

you got my number, shoot me a text call anything.

hang in there bro.

i've been going through some problems too lately...


************************************************** *****
off topic, i officially put the evo up for sale. market is tough i dont think i will get what im asking. ive seen some others for 16, i cant go that low.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

tripp sorry to hear bro, if you need to talk to someone we're always here.

you got my number, shoot me a text call anything.

hang in there bro.

i've been going through some problems too lately...


************************************************** *****
off topic, i officially put the evo up for sale. market is tough i dont think i will get what im asking. ive seen some others for 16, i cant go that low.

Sorry to hear that Ed, hope everything works out for you.

[TripperFx3]

I'm truly sorry Ed for your problems and you've always got a sympathetic ear with me as well. Hope things look up for you, I know they will you just have to have faith that they will and give it sometime. Thats what I'm doing right now and it's going pretty good!

[UpSideDownDesi]

doing the right thing by keeping her away and not taking her back (what i initially read). It's very hard to say no, but it all pays off in the end man. Taking her back will tell her it's okay to do such things in future. Don't make her your priority, if she's making you a option.

Edit: Looks u got everything on the lock down already.

[TripperFx3]

It is really hard, especially being here in SF. I can't help but wish that I had brought her here in the past. One of those shoulda, coulda, woulda, things. Like I said I do still love her, but I'm not sure I could take her back or forgive her for this. This is why everything is so hard. Like ya'll have been saying to just leave her alone, but when shes been the only woman I've loved for the past 5 years it's easier said than done, but I've been doing good and haven't talked to her for the past few days, even though I want to. I'm just respecting her wishes.

[Hikaru]

Good for you Trip! Stick to yer guns man.

[TripperFx3]

Well I think this weekend has really done me a world of good and I've come to a realization that for not I'm not going to say, but it's something thats helping me, so for now I'm going to leave this thread as is. I want to thank you all for your great advice and understanding and pray/hope for the best for both her and I that we both find happiness where ever our lives take us.

[TripperFx3]

Just wanted to give ya'll an update. I'm actually doing really well. Christmas won't be the same, but I'm in no way depressed. Just a bit sad I guess that this happened so close to xmas. Her and I have started talking a bit. Last night she came over and I could tell something was really wrong and she told me that the guy she's with had a good friend that passed away yesterday. I don't care what happened, that's really sad to have a good friend pass away right before xmas. I know I've had my fair share of friends that I wish were still here.

Regardless, she started crying (i doubt for a guy she barely knows that passed, but probably because all the stress and everything else is getting to her) and I just hate to see her or any woman cry and I just gave her a hug and comforted her and told her to give him my condolences. She seemed to really appreciate it and was in much better spirits this morning and I gave her a hug when she left and she gave me a big one back. It's just good to actually have a civil conversation with her and hopefully we can eventually be friends. I'm still hurt because of the way things went down and don't see me wanting to get back together with her, but I'm not mad at her. I've always felt, for the most part, that anger is just wasted energy and theres better ways to relieve it than fighting or being mad at someone.

On another note I may have met someone else. Nothing has happened between her and I, but we have been hanging out a lot and she calls me frequently even though shes visiting her family. I'm obviously in no position to start another relationship and she isn't right now either, but it's nice to have the connections that I'm feeling with her. We'll just see what happens in time with both Sam and I.

[Evolvedgti]

what do you mean, 'when she left in the morning'? she still stays there? In a separeate bed I hope!

[TripperFx3]

lol no it's not like that. The dog still has to stay here. She had taken the dog before I left for SF. When I came back the dog was here. So she was just here in the morning taking care of the dog. Normally I'd be asleep, but I woke up early to hit the slopes :D

[jktripp]

that dog, again????? she is still using that excuse to be a part of your life. ok, ok, no bitching for me tonight. if you are good with it, ok. you should get a fish and leave it at her 'friends' house and go to his place twice a day and see how they like it. put her puppy down, i mean outside, on a runner. take her key. change the locks. hope you are doing well. have a great Christmas!:D

[TripperFx3]

lol Thats cold Tripp, but I can always rely on you for a laugh.

[jktripp]

yeah, thats all. im just trying to lighten up the subject for ya. glad you get a laugh out of it. hope all is well for the Christmas season for you and your family.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks man! You too. Like I said it's a bit rough, but thank God I have my Dad out here.

[TripperFx3]

I hate this fucking shit... I just saw a picture of Sam and the guy shes with kissing. I knew it'd be hard but this fucking sucks... And it's not like I go around looking for pics of them. I was just on a friends profile on myspace and saw it... Its killing me... I still can't believe this happened the way it did. It's just the worse way it could have happened. I know I said I couldn't get back with her right now, but that killed me. Sorry for my emo rant and I know i'll be fine, but fuckin' A that just hit me where it hurts.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

Wow, that really does suck. Sorry to hear you man. I know what you mean though. Even though your not planning to get back together with her, it hurts to see that shes moving along so quickly after the long relationship you two had. I know the way she left, but even so, thats just really cold. She can control pictures like that one staying under wraps. Im sorry to hear that Tripp. As always, let me know if you need anything or someone to talk to.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks buddy and it actually wasn't up on her profile, but on my friends page they have this guy as one of his top friends and that was his profile pic. She seems to be being fairly sensitive to the matter though. She's actually told me she loved me the other day and that was refreshing to hear considering how things ended and has told me she hopes I find someone that makes me happy.

I just got off the phone with the girl that I may be dating soon depending on how both our situations go, and that made me feel much better. Regardless how things go between her and I, I know she'll always be a good friend now.

[TripperFx3]

It truly is interesting the curve ball life throws you. Just yesterday I got a message on Myspace from my Ex back in GA. I haven't talked to her in years. Now all of a sudden shes back in my life. We're not dating or anything like that, but just goes to show you how twisted life can be sometimes lol.

Also, Sam came by and we talked a bit and she actually apologized for the way things happened. I don't know why because she left me and shouldn't feel like she did anything wrong, but I guess she's feeling guilty. Regardless I was talking to her about how life can throw you curve balls and told her that my Ex and I had started talking and you should have seen the look on her face! It was like "I will set you a blaze!!!" For some reason she never liked my ex and I guess it's still sort of a soft spot, but I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that's she still jealous of my Ex lol.

[Evolvedgti]

For some reason she never liked my ex and I guess it's still sort of a soft spot, but I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that's she still jealous of my Ex lol.

If she is STILL jealous, she still cares! She is being a indesicive girl, that is the short of it.

[ryanowarrior]

Sam will want you back, just wait and see!!! may not be right now but i bet she will!!! not sayin you'd take her back or anything just stating that! that always seems to happen with girls.. so freakin figure!!! i've seem to run in the same problems you are having lol!! life is crazy aint it??? or GIRLS are anyways!!! either way good luck with your ex from Ga, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM I FEEL YOUR PAIN

[em1toevo]

I know things are rough right now, but you know you are doing the right thing. I'm glad to see you are trying to get your mind off her. Life has a funny way of working out.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks guys. Like I've said before it still holds true, I'm not mad at her, but I'm sure hurt as hell. If I were to ever take her back it'd be a long time from now. Right now she seems happy, but like I said I know her and can see in her eyes that shes confused and unhappy. She told me a lot of the things he's doing for her and I have to admit he seems like he could be a good guy (fucked up to hear me say that right?), but the true test is what will happen in a few months. I know they've probably already slept together and us being guys you know we like to have our "fun" for the most part and things will still be all lovey dovey for a while, but it's how much do we let things slide, how much of the lovey dovey stuff goes away after we get comfortable that really matters. The fact of the matter is I probably let things slide a bit too much, but that was after 5 years and even then I still did the small things like open her car door. I've done that ever since we started dating. Also, I know what she really needs and I've known what she needed, but was unwilling to do these things because I felt like I was the one doing everything in the relationship, but like I said the Monday before she left me I realized what I needed to do and I told her yesterday that if our paths happen to cross again I know what she needs and I know we will have a successful relationship, but at the same time I'm not keeping my fingers crossed on that and I'm not going to wait around. She also told me the hopes she sees me with another girl next week, so I guess we'll see what happens when she see's me cuddled up with this other girl lol.

[TripperFx3]

Well this New Years has been a rather eye opening one and a great one none the less! Before I get into I realize that some of you may realize that I'm typing this at 3:30AM and I want to assure you that I'm no longer drunk and coming to you from a sober frame of mind and this may be long winded, but I implore you to please read this out and leave whatever comment you feel necessary.

Tonight I learned, from a very reliable source, that Sam (my Ex) has been tricking everyone. I'm not going to tell you who, but it's someone thats been very close to her recently and no I'm not talking about her current guy, but if you've kept up with this very long thread you may figure out who and no it's not someone you know, but read the thread if you really want to know. Regardless please trust me that I know this is reliable information and it makes a lot of sense. Basically, like I mentioned, the Sunday before Sam left me she went out with this guy (who shes now with) and a couple who were all friends of ours, to Tahoe to go hiking. Well apparently while on this hike she was hanging all over the guy who she is now with. He was doing his best to resist, but as you know us guys are weak lol, but he did resist and it wasn't until he heard the things she told him that he decided to take action and tried to do the "gentleman" thing, and do what he thought was right as any guy would (for the most part) when an attractive woman is hanging over you and telling you how she's been wronged by her current BF, which you all know what happened there. To get on with it she told him that she had tried to leave me before, but everytime she did I would physically beat her. This of course coming from a semi truth.

Like I mentioned I did once restrain her when she was incredibly angry with me early in the relationship because I didn't want her to drive away with that much anger and hurt herself. I mentioned this previously and although it was wrong for me to do I did it with the best of intentions. Also, I know a lot of you don't know me personally and only know the image I portray here online and I try to portray the real me on here as best as possible and that is a guy that loves his friends dearly and would gladly take a bullet for anyone of them and loved his GF with all his heart and did the best I could to make her happy. I'm a very honest person and tell things how it is. If you don't believe me you can ask Ryan, Ed or Jr. who knows me personally and knows Sam as well (to an extent).

Getting back on topic. The lie she told of course came from what happened early in the relationship and something she obviously couldn't forgive or let go of. I of course never slapped her, beat her or other wise harmed her other than a "tickle fight." Everytime we had a verbal argument I gave her the option to leave me if she wasn't happy and while out here in Reno I offered to even help pay to move her to back to GA. Why would I willingly keep someone with me that wasn't happy? The guy she's now with is getting sucked dry financially and she's controlling him. Telling him he can't have an alcoholic beverage, which she never did with me, yet when he has a problem with her doing the promotional modeling (something I supported her in), he's not allowed to be upset about it. This happened quite frequently, but not as severe, in my relationship with her. I'm no longer mad at him and my anger has shifted towards her. Being that I'm not a very angry guy and normally calm and collected in the 1st place all I have to say is this. FORGET HER!!!!

How could you lie and seduce someone else because you can't stand to be alone or support yourself alone, when you supposedly have loved someone (me) for almost 5 years and won't even tell the man you love the truth or talk to him about it. The relationship we had was no where near perfect and yes she had a lot of problems financially and I did my best to help her out when I could, but I loved her with all my heart and never once thought of cheating on her or leaving her even when things were tough. I feel completely relieved in knowing I truly did nothing wrong and it was just this manipulative woman playing people like puppets.

I know it takes two to tango so to speak, but with this information revealed how could I really be mad at him (I am a little bit, but let me explain)? Yes, he could have just told her to go to stay with a friend or attempted to dig deeper into the matter, but yet again which one of you can honestly say that if you heard a cute girl was in distress because of a supposedly abusive BF, especially when she's coming onto you as hard as Sam supposedly was to him. Also, in his defense, his ex GF who I have hung out with and know, came onto him quite frequently in front of me and others, but was no where near as attractive as Sam was and he also knows his Ex and they are Ex's for a reason, but he did abstain from doing anything inappropriate with her. With that being said I would have no problem to sit down with this guy mano-e-mano, buy him a beer, and tell him whats going on. I know it's not my responsibility to do and he should find out on his own, but I highly doubt he would believe what I said anyways, but I told my source that if he is willing to talk to me calmly I'd be happy to talk to him. I honestly never understood the whole "bros before hos" thing, but now it's never been clearer (not saying you should trust your friends before your wife/GF, but at least dig deep into whatever serious accusation they may make or say).

In closing, and feel free to ask questions if something doesn't make sense, she truly was never like this before (yet again ask Ryan or Ed who has hung out with the both of us) and I don't know what the hell came over her and made her think that this was a sensible plan and that she would get away with it. I also know 1st hand that she has kept up with this thread and probably checked my others, and I fully expect her to be at my place soon to try to do damage control. Regardless, she's really screwed herself over with this one, there is no way in hell that I would ever consider taking her back and once he finds out whats going on (which I'm sure she was just using him to get this position doing promotional modeling) and she leaves him to go back to GA or he wises up to her game she'll be completely screwed. I truly do hope she grows up and stops making these mistakes soon for her own sake. I obviously do still have feelings for her and love her, but this has made it immensely easier for me to get over her. This is truly going to be a great year and I mean that whole heartedly! Good things are going to come to me this year and I'm looking forward to it!

[em1toevo]

Well Tripp...I really think you are in a better place without her. You definitely don't want a long term future with someone like that. You will find someone that deserves you. I'm glad you found out all of this info. I wish you all the best in 2009!

[Xpsi]

Wow, sorry to hear that Tripp. 5 years is a lot of time, but you made the right choice by moving on. Be sure that 2009 will bring you happiness. Need someone to talk let me know dude. take care
Btw when you coming down here again?

[Chemwarrior]

I would say that is one step closer to closure. That thread tells me that you have confirmation of what you have suspected all along. As we say in the Army, "keep leaning forward in the foxhole".

[Evolvedgti]

Tripp, this is the first post where I KNOW you are on the way to closure. I feel like ...........:D for you.

Keep it up, go to GA and have fun.


P.S. how long you going to be there?

[jktripp]

i agree, sounds good for you. no need to talk to him though. who cares what he thinks about you or what happened in yours/her relationship. he will find out the truth one day and find out the truth about her at the same time and say,'well now i know he got out and i was the real sucker'. no need to tell him anything, that will just let her think you still care enough to talk to her new bf. screw that. get your ass to georgia and get together with your real friends and makes new friends (me.... and me). she is the past and let her stay in the past, the future is so much better....

[TripperFx3]

I couldn't agree with you guys more. Tripp, like I said I know it's not my responsibility and he's probably not going to want to talk to me, but I just feel like I lost a good guy friend now. Now I know he wasn't out to screw me over and was just trying to be a good guy like I said. Does that make sense?

Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting to GA! Only 8 more days! I get in GA on the 9th and I leave on the 18th Jr. Maybe we could get a small meet going on?

[Chemwarrior]

We should definitely get a meet together while you are here.

[TripperFx3]

Well I just got a rather fucked up text message from Sam. She asked me if she wanted me to hook her up with a girl named Chelsea. I asked her who this girl was and then I asked some friends of mine as well and shes a girl that Jeremy (the guy shes with) brought to a Texas Roadhouse meet up. The girl is smoking hot, but I can't figure for the life of me why she would be trying to do this other than to try to ease a guilty soul. Also this girl is a friend of Jeremeys and I can't imagine him being cool with me dating her. She said we would be perfect for each other, but this girl seemed a bit crazy when I met her and that of course is not the girl I normally go for. I prefer calm, laid back girls. Regardless whats your guys input on this one?

[jktripp]

say 'hell yeah i want her number!!' 'you want to try a real girl!' tell her(sam) that you thought she was hot as hell the first time you saw her and she looked crazy as hell and that you are of course interested!! jk. not sure about that one. one hand yes, on the other hand you can tell sam you dont need her trying to set you up with anybody and to stop thinking about you all the time. she is starting to sound pretty pathetic. doesnt she have a bf now? why is she constantly texting you?? bc she is constantly thinking about you. haha, her loss

[TripperFx3]

Well this girl is gorgeous! Your right, she probably is thinking about me a lot, but at the same time she's probably threatened by this girl and is trying to get her out of his life as well.

[jktripp]

then you should feel good about helping her out. it will help you out as well. that will so f--- with sam's head too. later she will be thinking wtf did i do?? haha! that will be a moment to see!!

[TripperFx3]

Well this was an interesting night... I was having dinner with my Dad and watching a movie when Sam comes busting in the door screaming. Apparently everyone she knows around here doesn't want to talk to her. Even the girl of this couple that was supposed to be best friends. She of course is really upset and accusations are flying everywhere. So her and I talk because she refuses to leave and I can't kick her out since she's paying rent. She's really pissed and saying that I'm a liar and this that and the other.

After I talk to her she says her guy wants to talk to me, so keeping in what I said before I went out and talked to him and it seems that there is a whole lot of "he said she said bullshit" going on. End result is I'm no longer pissed at her or him. We (we being me, Sam and Jeremy) needed to just have this talk and clear the air between the 3 of us without everyone else intervening. I still don't know who I can and can't believe, but the 3 of us agreed that we all just need to stick to ourselves for a bit. I obviously still have to talk to her because she still has her stuff here and her dog will be back here I'm sure.

At the end I have a last calm talk with her telling her that even though this is hard right now something good will come to all of us out of all this hurt, we hug, I shake his hand and wish them the best and he tells me to call him if I need anything. I truly feel like I'm trapped in a freaking high school drama movie lol.

Like I've said I believe that God makes things happen for a reason. What was said and what happened last night may have happened solely because it was the last thing I needed to hear to get over her and then this happened tonight, so I could truly have closure on the whole matter. I still can't tell who's lying or who's not, but what happened tonight was very sincere, or at least it seemed that way. Also I noticed she had a ring on "that finger" and I asked her if they were engaged. All she said was "not yet." I just told her I understand it's none of my business, but advised her not to rush to much into things. She obviously still loves me and I think he saw that tonight when her and I had our last talk because she couldn't say anything without crying and the way she held me when she hugged me told me she still does. Not to mention that she's told me a few times that she loves me. So i told her not to rush into an engagement when she still loves me and that it's not fair to him or her. Not telling her not to do it, but she's going to make a mistake if she rushes into this when she still has feelings for me and both her and him are going to be hurt. I'm still set in my way that theres no way I could take her back after all this, so I think she realizes that too and realizes that if they don't work out she'll be screwed. He was also having doubt as well after seeing her react with me and was saying things like "if we work out." Whatever, I truly meant what I said when I wish them the best and if she's happy then thats all that matters. All we can do as humans in our lives is to try to make ourselves as happy as possible right?

[jktripp]

what, like a promise ring?? after two weeks??!?! wtf??! thats hilarious.... hope you got your closure tonight because they are way out there man.... you need to get the hell away from them asap!!

[TripperFx3]

lol Not sure what it is. I plan on talking to her about it, again not to discourage her from it because if its what she wants then she'll do it. To be fair it'll be a month tomorrow and your right they are sorta out there right now. I only have a few more things that I need to go over with her then I will be out of it. After all this tonight I'm truly ready for it to be done with.

[jktripp]

well, then, be done with it now. she isnt worth your time or feelings. crap on them and laugh at their immaturity. need me to come out there and help you to talk to them about closure and i can pick up that damn puppy too!

[jktripp]

tripper, sent you a messege on ms. actually two. she cant read everything we say, can she??

[TripperFx3]

If you want to lol. Also the dog hasn't been here for a while. Not sure if it's coming back.

[jktripp]

good for you...

[YSLBTT]

tripp i can honestly say you are a bigger man than i am.

i would've told the bitch (not necessarily sam) to go to hell and not talk to me again.

props for trying to get shit straight.

and we all know you're not a wife beater. you are too nice of a guy to do that.

lets hang when you come down here man.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

lol this is almost too much drama to keep up with. I miss 2 days and I feel like I missed a few weeks of action! lol. Tripp I hope everything is starting to fall into place for you. I know it may seem hard, but dont forget to keep in touch with those other girls throughout this whole process. I know this situation can be distracting, but you do still have a life to deal with away from Sam ;)

[Hikaru]

^ Dude I feel the same way. Gotta find a way to TiVo all the drama! Tripper, please listen to jktripp and be done with these 2 wackos! Did everyone around you just turn 15? I mean seriously, a promise ring? Ex's bursting through the door and creating a scene. Who does that. Maybe I'm just old but come on....

[TripperFx3]

lol Guys! I'm basically done with everything truly. I figured if the dog was coming back it would be back this morning and it's not, so hopefully it'll be gone for good. At least she did apologize for bursting in here and like I said I feel like I'm back in high school or in some uber dramatic movie. I thought I'd be done with this when I turned 21, but I guess not. I'm actually much more mature than most people my age (23) and I know most of ya'll are older than me and thats why I came to ya'll for advice and thanks for all you have done for me. I'd love to buy you guys a beer or something when in town!

I really feel like things will die down from here on now, well at least it seems that way, so hope it does!

Ed, i'll be giving you a call when I get in town and truly I don't see any reason for being angry. No I'm not going to turn into Adam Sandler from Anger Management lol. I release my anger in other ways.

[Hikaru]

Hey man, emotions know no age. I think you are handling your situation with class and dignity regardless of your age. It's just too bad that people around you aren't!

Cheers!
J

[TripperFx3]

Hey man, emotions know no age. I think you are handling your situation with class and dignity regardless of your age. It's just too bad that people around you aren't!

Cheers!
J

Agreed. Like I said with all the "he said she said bullshit" going on I just want to be done with it. I don't care what him and her are up to. If they get engaged and get married in the next month I wish them the best, but know it's not going to last. Regardless they'll do what they want to.

[Xpsi]

I'd love to buy you guys a beer or something when in town!
.

i'll take you up on that offer! Let's hit some bar or a strip club!

pink pony FTMW!!!

[jktripp]

dont really drink, but a coke will great plus actually getting to meet you will be just fine by me....

[TripperFx3]

lol I know you don't Tripp and I'll buy you coke :D. I just like to take care of my friends as much as I can. I don't always have a shit ton of money, but I'm doing alright now, so if I can treat a few of ya'll to a beer or other beverage I don't mind doing it.

Regardless, just a bit of an update. There's been a lot of drama going on between the couple that I mentioned earlier and Sam and her new beau. Sam sent me a txt asking me if I had seen the blog the girl of said couple had posted about her and all I said was yes and I'm sorry. Sam then asked me if I thought I would do those things since I know her best. I told her honestly that some of the control things the girl had mentioned yes, I could see her doing it, but most, not all, have some sort of control issues. I then said the Sam I knew wouldn't do most of that, but to be honest I see her changing quite a bit. Sam then said thanks for my honesty and she wanted to know what about her had changed. I just told her I don't mind telling her, but I had to go because I had Capoeira class then I was doing stuff with the car, so we'll see what happens if she tries to talk to me tomorrow. Regardless this shows me that shes now lost all friends here and she's looking for someone to talk to.

Then while I was hanging out with the guys that were helping me do some of the swaping for the parts I'm getting, the guy of the above mentioned couple was talking to Jeremy via text and he said that his ex-GF, who is now married and who he slept with even though she is married (they apparently had an open relationship) and she still hangs all over him when they hang out, had found out that he was now engaged to Sam and was flipping out about it. Why should he care what his ex-GF thinks? He obviously still has feelings for her too if he's flipping out about her finding out. Either that or he was hoping he could still bang his ex on the side. Please tell me what you guys think about this? I mean am I off my rocker for thinking this or am I on to something?

Again the only reason I update this still is because it is good therapy for me and even though I'm mostly over her I'll still have feelings for her and because the human mind and behavior fascinates me and this is an excellent example of people acting crazy and acting purely on emotion and acting without thinking. Think of this as a sort of case study for me and since you all seem to be intelligent mature individuals I like talking about this stuff with ya'll lol.

[jktripp]

it seems as though there are still a lot of emotions going between alot of ppl. i think this is where you need to start thinking about the sanity of some of those ppl. the emotions of the heart can make ppl do some weird stuff. there is no telling what this guy/girl is thinking when things like this start happening and no telling what is being said behind closed doors. this guy could be a total wack job and no one even know it. when love triangles start breaking down it could be rough, i think you need to step back and start creating some distance til everybody calms down. i mean, how well do you really know this guy? he obviously had some kind of verbal/emotional control over girls and likes the game that he is playing. be careful man. i have seen this kind of stuff go sour real quick. i think you need to disappear for a while. sam is going to drag you into this drama. it seems to be getting really deep, really quick. you dont need to do anything to make it worse. think about it, you more calm you get, the more aggitated sam is getting. somewhere, something is going to break. you need to stop all communication with their friends.... ie: no blogs/texts/emails, even talking to their friends saying that they are wrong. it will get back to them and add fuel to the fire.

[Evolvedgti]

^^ that's crazy. Before i read to see how you were doing, now its changed to what's are the "crazies"(you excluded) doing. They are very immature, and a little off.

[TripperFx3]

Thats what I'm saying Jon and Tripp you make a vaild point as well. To be honest I have stepped back a good bit. It seems I may need to step back further. I admit I used to sit around the house hoping she would come by just so I could talk to her. Now I'm honestly to busy to do so. It also seems like shes the one trying to drag me into some of this as well because she needs someone to vent to because now she has no one here in Reno other than me. The other couple that I've been hanging out with seem to be done with the matter as well. After talking with them last night they seem to realize that both Sam and this guy are a bit crazy and want nothing to do with either of them. Jeremy (the guy Sams with) told the guy of the other couple that he was his best friend... They've known each other for less than 2 months!!! That'd be like me saying I'm in love with Tripp even though I haven't even met him yet (You are quite a good looking guy though and find myself strangely attracted to you.... lol :p jk), but you get my point.

She sent me a text message this morning saying she was going to drop by after work to give me the check for rent (her checks are still here at the apartment). I told her her check were sitting by the computer monitor and to just leave it there if I'm not there, which I'm probably not going to be because I have to much shit to do today lol. Regardless it goes back to the point that I know when shes coming by and I'm not going to sit here and wait for her.

[jktripp]

wow..... he is a little crazy. i would say that you are doing the right thing by backing far away from them.... if she tries to bring you, just tell her you are not interested in listening to her anymore. he sounds like a major loser and he is probably dragging her down with him. glad you have stuff to occupy your time... thats great. no more sitting and waiting.... thats a ++! oh, and thanks for the anology... and that other stuff...:)

[TripperFx3]

lol Thought you'd like it :D

[jktripp]

yeah, im still laughing...... that was hilarious!!

[TripperFx3]

lol Jon I'll keep you posted with whatever else I hear!

[TripperFx3]

Well I just got off the phone with her. Like I said I had told her that she wasn't the same person I knew and she wanted to know why. Last night she texted me a few times while I was on the phone with my Ex asking if I had time to talk about it. Obviously I didn't and then she said she would call me today and she kept true to her word. I told her what I had already told ya'll about why she's changed to me. During this I asked her if she still loved me (I was talking to her about her being engaged to this guy) and she said yes, but it's not the unconditional love she felt before. Then just a few minutes later she said she didn't love me. I straight up told her I called BS on that and she had nothing to say back. Whatever... Him and her are both of their rockers and she's in denial that he doesn't feel anything for his ex which he obviously does because since he cares that she knows that they are engaged.

She also told me that she's been talking to her Dad about all this and I forgot her Dad is just as crazy as her when it comes to relationships. He met a woman about 5 months after he divorced from her Mom and then 3 months later they were married, so she needs to be talking to her mom and not her crazy ass Dad...

Whatever though. I said my peace and I'm done with her crazy ass. I actually deleted her from my phone and as soon as I get my comp. back up and running I'll be deleting the pics from there as well. Well except for the blackmail pics :D

[jktripp]

and the angels sang from heaven.... glad to hear you are beating all this stuff!!

[TripperFx3]

lol Yea, it's truly not worth it. I'm going out to have coffee with this cute indian girl I met in class tomorrow anyways. Not sure if it's really a date or not, but she seems really excited about it :D.

I always said something good will come from all this. Maybe this is it? lol

[jktripp]

a better life will come out of it for sure. dont worry if its a date or not, just go out and have a good evening with her. coffee, conversation, laughter, even if you never see her again make that moment count. whocares, just have fun and be yourself. when the right girl comes along you will know, until then enjoy meeting all of them you can. enjoy life, have fun.

[TripperFx3]

Your right mate and I will. I really don't care if it's a date or not. She a beautiful, interesting woman and I enjoy hanging out with her and talking with her.

[Evolvedgti]

Your right mate and I will. I really don't care if it's a date or not. She a beautiful, interesting woman and I enjoy hanging out with her and talking with her.

There you go. Like Jktripp said, be yourself and have fun. Good for you man! :D

[Strokedt67]

Post the blackmail pics!!!

;) As your Evo friends we must approve of them being blackmail material or not.

[Xpsi]

^^ I agree 100%. Post pics!!!!

[Evolvedgti]

Hey Tripp, I read this and thought of you. :D

"Blueberries

The soluble fiber in blueberries ushers cholesterol through your digestive tract before it chokes your arteries. The berries also contain compounds that improve circulation for a natural Viagra-like effect."

[TripperFx3]

Hey Tripp, I read this and thought of you. :D

"Blueberries

The soluble fiber in blueberries ushers cholesterol through your digestive tract before it chokes your arteries. The berries also contain compounds that improve circulation for a natural Viagra-like effect."

Jon lol!!! I have no problems with that! I'm 23 for christ sake!!! Plus I used to tear my ex up!!! I mean 3-4 times a day!!! Hopefully I can keep that up 5 years later! lol

[TouringBubble]

Wait wait wait wait ... hold up.

What happened to flexible capioera chick?

[em1toevo]

^I was wondering that too.

[TripperFx3]

Unfortunately the one hasn't been back. Hopefully just kept away by the holidays.

[YSLBTT]

ever since the first day this thread has been posted, i've been crossing fingers, waiting for blackmail pics. i didnt want to say anything then because you were still hurt, but now that you are all better...

we are ALL waiting.

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k266/PCGuruMaster2005/post-tits-or-gtfo.png

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

Ed, dont you still have 2 of my 360 games? lol

[YSLBTT]

lol im not sure. what games? i havent look at my games for awhile since i got a ps3.

[TripperFx3]

I have one last question and it's just to clear it up, but basically she's now officially engaged to this guy and she wanting to pay me less for rent (175 bucks a month less...) because she needs to "save for the wedding." I believe it was bubble that said that she can't legally not pay me her share of the rent. If someone could clear it up for me I'd be great full. This is really pissing me off. Not her getting married, I could careless honestly because it's not going to last (if it does I feel sorry for the poor bastard), but the fact that she's trying to screw me over.

[TouringBubble]

No, she can technically pay you less. You both signed a lease for X amount, so you are both equally responsible for the amount you signed for. That means that you would both be hit just as hard (legally) if the rent was not paid or the lease broken ... it does not denote that you are splitting the cost equally while it is being paid, or that you are splitting the cost at all.

If anything keeps her paying her portion of the rent, it can only be the verbal agreement that you had between one another. Verbal contracts are legally binding, just hard to prove. This is assuming that there is no special provision on the lease denoting actual amounts that you are each responsible for ... this is very unlikely as the leasing agent doesn't care as long as it's paid.

Basically, if you keep paying your amount and she pays less, you won't meet the rent amount and they can put it in collections after 30 days and you will BOTH be hit equally, even if you paid your half or whatever. Most places will not accept partial rent anyway. If you feel the need, try to hold her to her half that she verbally agreed to with this fear of collections and a credit hit.

I say be honest with her. She agreed to pay half and it would be the right thing to do to keep paying her half until the lease is up. If she can't do that, then she needs to find another way to supplement the income to meet her obligations.

She's currently living in a fantasy world that includes you, her very recent Ex, caring about her wedding plans. She needs a reality check. holding her to the rent will help provide this.

[YSLBTT]

thats fucking ridiculous.

[jktripp]

take that puppy ransom. she can pay 175 less a month rent, but 175 a month for the dog's 'well being'......... problem solved;). or just say wtf ever, eat it and go on with life without letting that pos bother you anymore. she is nothing more than breathing garbage, and eventually, someone will take out the trash. til then, forget about her. she's immature as hell. tell her you dont think it's fair and be done with it. let her decide what she wants and say f**k it. you got less than 6 months there right? then you are away from her for good.

[em1toevo]

She should pay half the rent. Period. I agree with Ed. This is just ridiculous.

[YSLBTT]

I agree with Ed.


for real, why haven't we seen nudes yet? :o

[TripperFx3]

^^^ lol Ed. I found out I do have common law on my side. In NV you only have to had been together for 1.5 years which we were in NV. I got instant residency here because of a forum I filled out, so I could get the discount though my Dad, but she did not, so not sure how that would play in.

Touring thanks for the input and I'll let her know that if she doesn't pay I can't cover the rest and that she will be hit with fees and bad credit just as I will. I'll also remind her that she made a commitment to this place were living in and just because she decides she doesn't want to be with me and live here she can't just all of a sudden skip out on it. She knows I don't care about her wedding. She assumes I still do though. It seems like shes doing this just to make me mad and the only thing making me mad is that she's trying to skip out on the rent.

I won't be posting the pics up here because if she did find out about it then she could technically sue me and I don't want that. I will be meeting up with you though and I will have those pics on my phone :D.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

I would say "Not my problem you decided to get married to a guy you've only been with a few weeks" Thats her decision. She has an obligation to pay rent to you first, if she cant afford that, she cant afford to get married. Oh and on the pictures.... theres always PM, lol.

[TripperFx3]

I forgot about them tonight Ryan! Remind me tomorrow and I'll show you ;p

[YSLBTT]

I forgot about them tonight Ryan! Remind me tomorrow and I'll show you ;p

yeah...

[ZIGZAG]

Have her pay her half....no hard feelings! Take the high road and she's got to stand by that basic committment. Review the lease carefully that should've been signed by both tenants. Don't allow her the pleasure of getting you mad or conversely, feeling sorry for her. Just be almost aloof and firmly but calmly demand that she honor her half.

She's lost her MIND Bro!

[TripperFx3]

lol Thanks Gran and your right. I left her a firm, but kind note stating almost exactly what you (gran) and Touring have said. Basically it's not right for her to skip out of this basic commitment just because her and I didn't work out and she felt like leaving. Also, like Touring said, her having to pay rent will be constant reminder of how she messed up. On another note, and those that saw me today heard this already, but the day I got all the stuff done to my car she came in to get the dog, gave me an "eat shit and die look" and then walked out to walk the dog. I went in the bathroom because I didn't feel like dealing with her and those of you who have been in commited relationships know when your lover is near by whether they have said anything at all. Well I got that sense about 5 minutes after she left the apartment and I looked out side and she was sitting in her car alone and it looked like she was crying. Not sure why. Maybe her seeing the stuff done to my car was a reality check?

Regardless, yes it is 5am here in Atlanta and I just got home from the club with a few friends! I never had such a great time at a club! I was drunk for most of it, but I met a bunch of cute girls and got some pics as well ;p. Regardless, great night and i had the time of my life! I love being single!!! lol

[Chemwarrior]

The life of a young and single stud!!! Live it up!!

[TripperFx3]

lol Thanks bud! I'll be posting the pic of the one absolutely gorgeous chick I met! She was a competely sweetheart to! If she didn't live in Valdosta and I wasn't as drunk as I was I would have gotten her number! God I should have held back on that beer!

[em1toevo]

I'm glad you are getting over that situation. Btw, that pic totally caught me off guard, lol!:eek::D

[jktripp]

^^ what pic^^??????????????????/ i want to be caught off guard, dang it

[em1toevo]

You shoulda been there...


;)

[jktripp]

uuuuurrrrrrrgh. i had to work.......

[TripperFx3]

Well guys this is probably my last update for this thread. She texted me today basically saying she wasn't going to pay me and saying that the only reason I was still making her pay was because I was trying to keep her in my life. I responded with a text message that started like this "Lol, that funny you saying that. Please don't flatter yourself by thinking that I was trying to keep you in my life. My only thing was you trying to skip out of a LEGAL obligation that you made and if you don't pay me there may there very well could be some legal ramifications that come along with that." After her talking stuff and confirming the fact that she is still checking up on me by checking the site she agreed to pay me her half of the rent in full every month and would mail it to me every month. Fine by me 100%. As you know I've tried being completely civil in the entire matter and have only acted like an asshole when she tried being one back to me. So all her stuff is finally gone out of my apartment and the dog will no longer be visiting me anymore (I think I have Tripp to thank for that lol!!) Regardless I feel this is a victory of some sort and partied it up tonight!

That being said I'm sober now and met this incredibly cool chick and I did get her number. We talked music for almost an hour, according to my friends, I was sober enough to carry on a coversation with her and sober enough to get her number (which is real I already found out lol), and sober enough to see if she was free tomorrow night (my last night), of which she has not responded, but it was almost 4am when I sent her that text lol. She apparently works at The Masquarede (sp?) and deals in booking bands. She does work out in Sacramento every now and then which is only about 2 hours at most away from me in Reno, so I'm hoping to see her again. Regardless it was good to learn how to use my balls again (lol) and meet an incredibly cool girl in the process. I promise I'll be posting pics of the girls I have met and me (yes I am in the pics lol) for those who care when I get back to Reno. Have a good day/night gents and take care!

[em1toevo]

Sounds like you had fun during your week back home. Glad you're getting some closure too.

[Evolvedgti]

yeah, Tripp. congrats on everything!

[Hikaru]

Man, I've kept up with this thread from day one. It was like my own little Melrose.....and now it will soon be gone....just like sport compact car....it's all so bittersweet. Seriously though, glad to see you pick yourself up and carry on. You handled the whole situation with some real class Tripp!

[TripperFx3]

Thanks guys! I really owe you a lot for your support!

[jktripp]

tripp, thats awesome!! glad to hear everything is going great.

[TripperFx3]

Thanks Tripp!

I thought that would be last post, but I just got home less than an hour ago and the apartment is trashed from when she moved out! It seems like she did everything she legally could to make the apartment look as trashy as it could. Not to mention my buddy is getting kicked out his dorms and is staying with me for a bit and is having some girls over. I have a date of sorts tonight, but I'm hoping I can get back in time to meet these chicks if nothing happens on my date.

GRRRR!!!! I'm furious... Now back to cleaning...

[em1toevo]

That sucks ass. Why did she have to trash the place?

[TripperFx3]

I have no idea... I guess it really wasn't that bad, but it's just not the thing you want to see when you get home. It only took me an hour to clean up.

[jktripp]

at least she's gone. i think it's better to have to clean up after her one more time than have to clean up after every day... the new guy going to pay rent while he's there? his money plus your ex's for a few months will make up for when she stops paying....

[1d10t]

That chick leaves a mess where ever she goes

[TripperFx3]

lol 1d1ot. I like that!

Tripp, he's only going to be here for a week at most. If it turns into longer we've talked about it and yes he will be helping with utilites and rent. I mean I live in a one bedroom, so he's sleeping on my couch. Not the best of situations lol

To clarify I don't think she intentionally trashed it, but it could have been done in a much neater manner.

[BlewByYouEvoVIII]

it was nice to have you back in town Tripp. I know we had fun, lol. Hope everything works out for the best in Reno for ya ;)